Hypnotherapy Associates Blog
Stop Arguing, Start Talking18
by Bonita Rayner-Jones on Tue 18 Oct 2011 15:29:58 GMT
This article in November's Psychologies magazine talks of the importance of the ability to express our needs or point of view, which in turn, actually benefits everyone around us, including ourselves. This is because when we express ourselves, others we come into contact with, everyone from work colleagues through to partners, friends and relations, can understand us better rather than having to ‘second guess’ what we are thinking and feeling. Many people believe that avoiding confrontation makes for an ‘easier life’ but unfortunately, in the long term it doesn’t. Grievances then tend to fester, rather than being addressed from the onset, this can cause further emotion and resentment which may later on, result in arguments and the past being brought up into sometimes unrelated situations. Disharmony is created in relationships which can result in break ups and a break down in any relationship, work or personal.
It is very common for me to hear from clients that they avoid confrontation, either when I work with clients to help them with ‘love and dating’ or helping clients to grow their confidence or to overcome detrimental habits and weight loss. Confrontation can create ‘uncomfortable’ feelings within us, it is this discomfort we act to avoid. Through our hypnotherapy and NLP we can change these uncomfortable feelings to enable our clients to feel comfortable being assertive and voicing their opinions and needs without fear. As children we can also ‘learn’ to avoid confrontation, how many times can many adults recall being told as a child to ‘be quiet’, ‘shut up’, ‘be good’, ‘don’t answer back’ and when we question why, we might have got a response of ‘because I say so’!! etc etc. Our ‘unconscious mind’ therefore learns that speaking out is selfish or is met with negativity. Again, through hypnotherapy and NLP, we work with the ‘unconscious’ part of the mind to create a new belief, which is that we all have a right to be heard and express ourselves, and that as adults, it can be met with positivity and a different outcome. At Hypnotherapy Associates in both London and Ipswich, both Celia and I work with clients on all the aspects of communicating and asserting their needs, for example, resolving any triggers from the past, which may still be influencing a clients’ behaviours. We will also look at language patterns, both spoken and on an internal level, which, by adjusting these, can have a powerful influence on thoughts and feelings. We also work to allow clients to create a new vision of themselves, to how they would like to be in the future, allowing this to eventually become their reality.
Conflict can be a source of growth, and life is about evolving and learning……..